Defenestrator’s coach Paul Zerna has moved Jimmy Webster below Oleg Markov on the depth chart during an explosive post game interview.
Webster, who had been in stunning form for the reserves over the previous month, only had 3 disposals before being forced from the ground on Saturday.
A visibly frustrated Zerna took no questions from assembled journalists, instead opting for a 13 minute diatribe toward the hamstrung defender.
“He’s basically cost us a perfect season,” Mr Zerna said.
“I’ve got Tommy Mitchell out there racking up thirty touches every week. Jimmy couldn’t even make it thirty minutes.
“Josh Kelly had 100 points at halftime. 100 points. And we lost. Get stuffed Jimmy.
“That’s the last time I put my faith in an outside player afraid of physical contact. Gaff at least has some credits in the bank.
Zerna immediately left the media centre following the unhinged character assassination, leaving behind his trademark turtleneck.
Jayden McIntyre, a commuter who listens to music on his phone sans headphones, later told Dangergawn News he saw Zerna asleep on the tram later that evening.
“He paced up and down for the first three stops. Kept muttering something about Coniglio and ankles,” Mr McIntyre said between the dulcet tones of Skrillex.
“He then fell asleep within ten seconds of sitting down, but the muttering just intensified. Lots of people got off.”
Webster is not believed to be among Defenestrator’s twenty keeper candidates.