In this article, I will see who truly loves their AFL team – and who loves their Ultimate Footy Team:
Solomon’s Soldiers
Coach Bridge claims to love the crows. This is clearly untrue. He has obtained more Port Adelaide players than crows. He only has Curtly Hampton and Brodie Smith from the tri-colours of SA. And neither of those are likely to feature in many games this year. Alex’s eye is clearly on Ultimate Footy glory, albeit very distant glory. Nevertheless, with six demons on the list (Hunt, Brayshaw, Petracca, Neal-Bullen, Viney, Stretch), we know that this coach is keeping his eye on the red and the blue.
Honourable mention goes to the hyphenated names – Neal-Bullen, Byrne-Jones, Petrevski-Seton, Powell-Pepper and Davies-Uniacke. There is solid support for Team Hyphen
Fan Rating: 1/10
Rico’s Roughnecks
Coach Ritchie loves his crows. He also loves his fantasy. What love is greater? Well, a brief scan of his list shows only one crow – and that’s Brad Crouch who is always injured and wouldn’t make the best midfield of our league anyway. Suffice to say, Adam cares a lot more about the Roughnecks than the crows. So which AFL team is truly the darling of Adam’s heart? Sydney. With Mills, Newman, Parker, Hannebery and Hewett all in the best 22, it is clear Adam’s heart bleeds a lot more red and white, than red, yellow and blue.
Fan Rating: 1/10
Shire Scourers
Oh Nelson. Well might you flee the county, for your lack of love for the crows is clear. Were it not for Sam Jacobs, you would be crow-less. For shame. I had believed you to be passionate about your team; alas you love your Scourers more. The only redeeming feature is that no other AFL team has fully grasped your affections. From my vantage, Sydney is your fondest grace with a mere four representatives (Franklin, Heeney, Kennedy, Cunningham). If you fail to win the trophy, this betrayal of your first love will be for naught.
Fan Rating: 2/10
Defenestrators
Coach Zerna made a very clear statement in the second round of the inaugural draft. He drafted Andrew Gaff, instead of Rory Sloane, setting the tone for years of crow rejection. This, despite the fact that Paul has an incredible amount of man-love for Sloane. At Paul’s wedding, the three most mentioned names were Paul, Rory and Hannah (in that order). And yet, Paul has chosen Fantasy glory over South Australian pride. To his credit, he at least has two decent crows on the list – Matt Crouch and Tom Lynch. For this, he can be considered “not terrible”. Yet, he is really the biggest eagles fan in the league, with six West Coasters on his list – and good ones too – Kennedy, LeCras, Shuey, Gaff, Jetta and Hurn. But given the amount of points Paul will be rolling in this year, I’m sure he won’t mind having switched allegiances across the Nullarbor.
Fan Rating: 4/10
MaherShalalHashBaz
I thought I was a massive eagles fan. But looking over the data, my fandom is limited. As I write, I have a mere two eagles on my list – Sheed and Venables. Edit: I just drafted Barass, so now I have three eagles. My fan ranking can be slightly boosted and my shame slightly reduced. The truth is, I will be cheering the team in teal this year as I have 6 power players all in my best 22 – Pittard, Houston, Ryder, Motlop, Westhoff and Dixon. I attribute the abundance of Port players to the anti-Port bias of the crow coaches that abound in our league.
Fan Rating: 4/10
Love Sparkles
Coach Burgess is a West Coast fan. And he has managed to maintain that passion with four eagles in his squad – McGovern, Redden, Cripps and Lycett. This is a solid effort, to at least make 10% of your squad represent your AFL team. However, the bad memories of 2015 are not bothering this fan that much as there are four hawks in the team – all premiership players too. Having said that, the jersey of this outfit is in the West Coast colours (and the design of the glory days with Judd too), and so this coach is given a fair ranking in his fandom.
Fan Rating: 6/10
Puttanesca Chiefs
A noted Geelong fan, Coach Buscumb has actually recruited more cats than I initially thought. Obviosuly, inaugural Dangergawn medallist Patrick Dangerfield is his star recruit. But lesser knowns cats are Kolodjashnij, Constable and Thurlow also appear on this list…as does Cam Guthrie. Of interest, there are five best-22 lions on his list. Having said all this, Mark’s willingness to get five cats on the list is admirable, even if only one is best 22. Mark is also showing his love of the club by enduring the pain of having Guthrie again. He also called his team Stranger Danger for two seasons, thus showing his love for the great man himself. Mark is a reasonable fan indeed.
Fan Rating: 7/10
The Bailout Plan
This coach is the only power fan in the competition. But he is a true fan. He has not fewer than 5 power players on his list – Broadbent, McKenzie, Ebert, Gray and Trengove. Luke also has a penchant for Gold Coast players – five of those are on his list too. Suffice to say, Luke will definitely be watching the China game with great interest – and then looking away while the Bailout Plan try to deal with the following bye. Yet, that is the cost of being a true fan – so well done Luke.
Fan Rating: 7/10
Redshins
No surprise here. Coach Symes, the noted, and very happy, Richmond fan has been drafting tigers since the competition was a few seconds old (His inaugural pick was Dusty Martin). And given the quality of the tigers outfit, this strategy is actually quite sound. His current list showcases a whopping 8 tigers. Chris’ support for the tigers even extends to the team colours of the Redshins – yellow and black. Chris can be called a true and passionate fan. But not the greatest fan…
Fan Rating: 9/10
Such is ‘Fyfe’
A noted Fremantle fan, Coach McLaren has taken his fondness for purple into the Ultimate Footy game. The team colours of Such is ‘Fyfe’ are purple and, indeed, the name celebrates Freo’s greatest star. To add to that, there are currently 9 dockers on this list. Correct. Nine. I counted. Ryan, Wilson, 2 Hills, Sandilands, Mundy, Darcy, Pearce and McCarthy. With such a true show of support for this team, I can officially crown Such is ‘Fyfe’ the truest fan of all. Now, just imagine if he could pull off a trade for Nat Fyfe himself!
Fan Rating: 10/10, will become 11 if he gets Fyfe