Shire Scourers (1705) vs Rico’s Roughnecks (1879)
Two teams on 3-1 faced off. Who was going to have bragging rights in this top-four fight? After Friday night, the question was more like whose swans can spud it up more? Parker (73) and Hannebery (54) stunk, but Kennedy (66) and Franklin (55) stunk more. Having said that, a 115 from Isaac Heeney had me favouring the Shire Scourers after Friday night.
It was a long weekend (?) of footy. Nelson only had two more tons to come and Wines was his top-scoring midfielder with 89. Adam had far too much firepower up his sleeve with Kane Lambert’s 122 awesome and Adam Treloar’s 122 even more awesome (that’s right Mark – the system). But no one played better than Brendon Goddard and his 129. Mark Maclure thinks B.J. should be dropped for his finger-pointing and yelling. (I’m glad Mark Maclure can’t see me track fantasy stats!) Suffice to say, Coach Fez is happy for Brendan to yell and carry on as much as he likes, if he keeps putting in top Dangergawn performances.
And so Rico’s Roughnecks emerged triumphant in a comprehensive victory. They have scored 1800+ for three weeks in a row now and will prove hard to beat – even though they come up against bogey side MaherShalalHashBaz next week. The Shire Scourers face a rejuvenated Love Sparkles in the cleverly named NZ-Clash. Nelson will sure be hoping his top midfielder scores more than 89 next week.
Such is “Fyfe” (2013) vs Redshins (1776)
Well, Nathan certainly rallied the troops this week. I don’t know exactly how he motivated them, as it was a closed training session. However, I heard creaks, splashes and screams coming from the training headquarters.
Whatever Coach McLaren did, it worked. Not only did Such is “Fyfe” win, they posted 2018’s highest total and the first 2000 of the year. The 2013 total was brought about by five centurions and six scores of 90+. The lowest score across the board was 61. It’s a testament of teamwork and Such is “Fyfe” can really steam towards the finals picture now. With the Bailout Plan next, they will be looking to go 2-4. With scores like these, they’ll be hard to stop.
Credit to the head selector at Such is “Fyfe”. In defence, Paul Seesdsman (99), Luke Ryan (82) and Nathan Wilson (95) all played well and are all having breakout campaigns, with Seedsman in particular an incredible menace.
Nothing too much to worry about for the Redshins. Those three wins in a row were awesome, but all good things come to an end. It’s just unfortunate that Nick Haynes decided to be the biggest schizophrenic since Dr Jekyll. With a massive 122 last week, he could only muster 36. It’s the law of averages, I guess.
Puttanesca Chiefs (1868) vs Solomon’s Soldiers (1655)
Two combatants went at it and the final score-line shows a thrashing. It would appear that way, but upon closer inspection, this game was tense.
Alex found himself in a very comfortable position early on in the round, thanks to stand-out performances from soldier-for-life Patrick Cripps (138) as well as Zak Jones (101) and Breakout Acres (100). The support cast were doing their job and at the chiefs, players like Tim Membrey (35) were weighing down the team.
Then Mark realised something. The only thing that Alex loves more than a win, is a trade. Alex, by my count, has only 10 wins in his history, but 20-odd trades. So Coach Buscumb decided to forego the inspirational half-time tirade and instead went with a half-time trade. Alex, pleased at the prospect of getting off the board in the trade department, gladly accepted the offer.
The second half of football was completely different to the first. Solomon’s Soldiers were content with a trade and produced spud-like scores. The Puttanesca Chiefs could focus on footy again and produced awesome scores, like Alex Witherden’s 123, Robbie Tarrant’s 119 and Brodie Grundy’s 110. Credit to Mark for his lateral thinking to inspire a big win and avoid a potentially devastating loss.
The Love Sparkles (1855) vs the Defenestrators (1806)
This was a big upset. The Love Sparkles considered this their bye week, dropped Murphy, Sloane and Rockliff and decided to gear up for the following week. Considering how well things went this week, I think Murphy, Sloane and Rockliff should stay out of the team.
Over at the Defenestrators, Paul can count himself unlucky. His first score below 1900 and he happens to get beat. I haven’t scored in the 1800s in three weeks, but have still managed two wins.
I do notice that the Defenestrators play a high-tempo, exciting, and offensive brand of footy. Their scores have been very high, which is enthralling for neutral fans as well Defenestrators fans. Nevertheless, it does leave the defence open to attack. True to form, Paul has coached his team to concede the most points of anyone in the competition. The Sparkles had their highest score of the year to date against them and MaherShalalHashBaz scored at their peak against the men in pink in round 1. But given the firepower at the other end, and the very successful win loss record, I think Coach Zerna will keep supplying high octane, highly entertaining football.
Now, I know I’ve said the league has never been more even, but I still think the Defenestrators will crush Solomon’s Soldiers next week. Sorry Alex, it was Dad who snuck in the upset win.
MaherShalalHashBaz (1702) vs The Bailout Plan (1685)
I only scored 1702 and very, very, very nearly lost to the Bailout Plan. I could gripe a lot – Dayne Zorko conceded six frees – but I’d much rather reflect positively on what was a very close and enthralling, if a bit low-scoring, encounter.
Firstly, well done Luke. I admit, I underestimated your side. As my Dad will attest, my training this week simply involved looking at your list and laughing. Boy, the joke was on me! But your plucky, unheralded mob were superb. Tom Jonas (108) took an amazing 15 marks. Brad Ebert (126) laid an amazing 14 tackles. Nat Fyfe (136) and Robbie Gray (126) were also amazing, but that was less surprising as they are bona fide stars. And you can certainly count yourself unlucky, Luke, as Higgins was concussed at half-time and Kent injured in the first half also. You will certainly get a win this season. That’s three weeks in a row you haven’t achieved the bottom score.
As for me, I know I just defeated a winless team, but given the manner in which it was done, I think it was as good as winning an Oscar. And so, there are some people I need to thank.
Thanks Justin Westhoff (118). Westhoff is the second-best forward in fantasy this year. I attribute his rise to the lack of direction for him at Port. He improved when he roamed forward and midfield, but now he can roam in the ruck as well. He can roam into the rooms, the grandstand, the commentary box, wherever he likes. The less defined his role, the better he plays. I look forward to him becoming the first F/C/R/B combo on Ultimate Footy.
Thanks Max Gawn (143). Gawn outscored Kent (30) and Castagna (81) on Tuesday night and took my equation from a downright ugly 360 behind, 3 players in hand, to a gettable 330 behind, 4 players in hand. That was an awesome display and his rise up the Dangergawn Medal tally reflects his wonderful spirit and approach to facial hair.
Thanks Zach Merrett (109) and Dyson Heppell (103). They dominated in the first half and I thought I would win easy. They then slowed down and I wasn’t getting much from my other bombers – looking at you Mr Invisible Andrew McGrath (48).
It got desperate. A last quarter goal to Luke’s one remaining player in Will Hoskin-Elliott made it tough. With 2 minutes to go, I was down by ten. I thought it was hopeless.
Then Merrett got a handball and then Heppell got a handball and Merrett got a kick and a mark. Scores were level! One minute to go.
Then Heppell got two more possessions and passed it to Hooker who kicked a goal to make the margin a lot closer than it should have been. Heppell and Merrett were truly clutch and lifted the team from a ten point deficit into a seventeen point victory in two minutes!!
So I am on a high. Who cares if I haven’t topped 1800 in three weeks? I am winning the close ones, ala Champs16 2016. And that is certainly cause to celebrate. Woohoo!!!