The Redshins (1676) vs Puttanesca Chiefs (1963)
In one of the two massive blowouts this weekend, the Puttanesca Chiefs showed their immense potential. Their players are in excellent form, with the following in what I would deem season-best form – check out these five-round averages.
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Tim Kelly 107.0
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Alex Witherden 100.4
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Luke Hodge 100.3
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Orazio Fantasia 91.3
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Jack Billings 95.8
With those lesser lights lifting at the business end of the season, Mark is chuckling in his bunny slippers every night before bed.
Poor Chris now has the dubious honour of having the leakiest defence in the whole league. He has posted six wins, but his losses have been incredibly hefty. Brayden Crossley (49) now heads up his ruck division in the absence of Nic Naitanui. (Edit: I took so long to post this that Crossley has now been dropped – my point stands, he has ruck issues). These are trying times down at the Redshins, but this is a resilient club and another win may be just around the corner.
Solomon’s Soldiers (1835) vs Defenestrators (1949)
The Soldiers had a good week. They scored a decent 1835. The following players were huge for Alex:
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Ryan Clarke (114) yanged his ying (after 29)
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Jarrod Witts (132) went big again (his fifth 120+ score)
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Matt Kennedy (108) with a debut ton
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Patrick Cripps (116), who now averages 117 in his last five
But, in the end, Tom Mitchell scored 187. Paul won by 114. The only thing more certain than the Defenestrators winning the flag is Tom Mitchell winning the Dangergawn again. That player is making peak Rocky look pedestrian. I remember saying Rocky is so good, he will never be topped. But now he has been. I guess I should’ve seen this coming. I remember saying Swan was so good he would never be topped. And Kane Cornes was so good he would never be topped. So, I boldly declare, Tom Mitchell will be topped…just not for a while. He is roasting everyone right now. 187. Seriously.
And as much as I associate the Defenestrators with Tom Mitchell, there is more to admire about this team. They lost Matthew Kreuzer to a heart condition, but have Toby Nankervis (94) holding the fort admirably and Jonathon Ceglar (97) in solid form in the reserves.
The Love Sparkles (1822) vs Shire Scourers (1842)
Coach Schonfeldt has done it again. He has emerged victorious in a close encounter. This was an entertaining game, the kind of game that makes you hope exec doesn’t bring in crazy new rule changes that change the fabric of Ultimate Footy.
Dad’s team managed eight hundreds, which is a great result for a weekend. Unfortunately, for him, the biggest of the tons was merely 113. Nelson’s team managed seven hundreds, but with two huge tons from Elliott Yeo (134) and Josh Kennedy (134). Also noteworthy is the performance of key Scourer Zach Tuohy (107) in a tight match. Unbelievably Ed Langdon (19) played out a whole game with, no injury, but couldn’t even scramble together 20 points, almost costing Nelson the match. Way to blow your chances of most improved Ed.
The performance of the Love Sparkles was certainly not poor, but they now face pressure to make the finals. With the Redshins playing the Bailout Plan next, you’d assume a win for the Redshins. That means there will be at least one more win required from the Love Sparkles this year to qualify for top six. If it doesn’t come this week, it makes the final round a mini-final with a lose-and-you’re-out scenario.
The race for finals is very interesting. The race for fourth and fifth is very drab. Nelson and I will occupy those spots no matter what, making these last two rounds rather meaningless for us (well, more meaningless than usual).
Such is ‘Fyfe’ (1581) vs The Bailout Plan (1557)
In what has got to be one of the best worst games of the year, Nathan won his second in a row. I don’t recall ever seeing such a low score emerge victorious. For a while there, it looked like The Bailout Plan would win with 1557 on the board. That would have been something to savour. But, in typical style, Ultimate Footy was just adding drama by adding an emergency score later than usual. It did make it seem like an epic come-from behind win. Siren goes. BOOOOOOOP. Luke has more points as the final final siren of the round is heard. But wait. That 63 from Mason Cox in the reserves hasn’t been added to the score of Such is ‘Fyfe’. Points added. Result changed. The Bailout Plan have lost, yet again. Amazingly, this win means Nathan’s team could still make finals – it’s mathematically possible.
It doesn’t feel right at all, but Such is ‘Fyfe’ have finally edged ahead of Solomon’s Soldiers on wins for the year – after that woeful performance. Nathan, when Nelson claims to be king of winning the close games, he doesn’t mean it as a challenge.
MaherShalalHashBaz (1664) vs Rico’s Roughnecks (1903)
That was embarrassing. I had six players who scored more than their average in my team. Which means a whopping 16 players underperformed relative to their average. My duds included Dom Sheed (34) who did not make the most of his recall to the team, Andrew McGrath (38) who has already spent the goodwill he earnt with last week’s hundred and Jarman Impey (49) who clearly struggled against Carlton (as you do?!?).
Only two centurions is an equal record low and just shows the gap between MaherShalalHashBaz and the top three. Despite sitting comfortably in fourth, my team is 0-5 against the top three this year and is giving off strong 2017 Port Adelaide vibes.
Another run-of-the-mill professional performance from the Roughnecks, with hundreds from stars like Devon Smith (121), Gary Ablett (11), Dawson Simpson (109), Luke Parker (119) and Lachie Hunter (104). Did you even notice I put Dawson Simpson’s name in the stars category? He was outstanding against Port’s “ruckman”. Dawson writes a new chapter in his intriguing story:
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Drafted in the last round by Paul
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Plays a few games
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Is dropped
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Is picked up again by Paul
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Is dropped
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Is picked up by Nathan
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Is dropped two days later
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Is picked up by Paul again
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Is dropped by Paul for the third time in one year
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Is picked up by Adam
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Scores a century
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Finally gets the love he deserves