2023 Season Review: Te Puke Pukekos


AT A GLANCE

Wins

0

Losses

21

Wooden Spoon

Season Summary

How do you assess a team that tried to fail, and succeeded? Which did they do?

In the words of Coach Nelson himself, “Ever since Alex tagged me in a post on Facebook touting the skill of Reid, my strategy was sealed: get Reid, but still have a crack at the Dangergawn medal.”

Nelson then went on to succinctly summarise – “Coach hit 100% of KPI’s.” This was a team with a clear plan; out with the old, and in with the new. A very young draft, followed by the immediate trading of some old heads, gave this list a very youthful look (with Lance Franklin just sitting in a corner doing his thing), and as soon as the games started, you could tell it would be a long season for fans of the Pukekos. With 4 first round draft picks in his arsenal, you could excuse him from avoiding watching the AFL, and focussing more on the under 18’s carnival. 

A maiden Dangergawn Medal for Tim English means that the team from NZ at least got some silverware from this disastrous campaign, while we now look to 2024 and what results he will get from actually trying (we think) to win games again.

top five  Players

Tim English

23 games
118.7 average
Ranked 1st for season

Darcy Parish

18 games
106.9 average
Ranked 14th for season

Will Day

21 games
95.3 average
Ranked 43rd for season

Lachie Ash

23 games
84.3 average
Ranked 93rd for season

Lachie Weller

9 games
83.8 average
Ranked 97th for season

ALL-AUSTRALIANS


Tim English

2023 PRE-SEASON DRAFT

RoundPickPlayerGames PlayedAverage
12Phillipou (StK)2052.7
212Thilthorpe (AD)1757.82
218Macginnes (HAW)845.75
322Reeves (HAW)00
432Menzie (ESS)249
652Farrell (PA)757.86
656Pickett (MEL)1663.19
872D. Fogarty (ADL)1864.22
982C. Stephens (HAW)00
1092Zerk-Thatcher (ESS)557.2
11102Lachie Jones (PA)444
12112Coffield (STK)00
13122Cincotta (CA)1350.92
14132Starcevich (BL)133
15142N. Long (WC)443.5
16152Franklin (SYD)18
17162Rivers (MEL)1874.61
18172O’Halloran (GWS)1260.92
19182B. Williams (WB)260
20192A. Davey (ESS)347.33

Most Inspired Selection

Bailey Williams
Pick 182

With so many young players coming in, it’s hard to single out any one that would constitute an inspired selection, but Williams in the 19th round was definitely a diamond in the later rounds of the draft. He was so good Nelson refused to field him at the risk of getting too many points, such were his scoring efforts.

While not an inspiration for the 2023 season due to this, my sources tell me he will be retained by the Pukekos, and so a selection that will pay greater dividends in 2024 and beyond.

Trades

A new contender for the official title of Sir Trades-A-Lot, this was a year of renovating the list to rival any single year in our league history. Premiership players Elliot Yeo and Ollie Wines left the club they have been at since 2016, and each returned a 1st round pick for their efforts. Crisp (a 2017 trade in) was also quickly shipped out for another first, as rival teams saw the opportunity to raid a list that was clearly trying to rebuild. With a couple more trades done to secure young players that were excess to current club needs, this list, through their trading effort, will quickly be the youngest in the competition.

DateTeamReceivedTeamReceived
July 21, 2023Tom Powell

Taxmanian Devils Round 7 Pick
Jarrod Berry

Defenestrators Round 4 Pick
July 21, 2023Defenestrators Round 4 PickBrodie Smith

Te Puke Pukekos Round 9 Pick
July 19, 2023Luke PedlarKane Farrell

Te Puke Pukekos Round 4 Pick
July 17, 2023Jack Lukosius

Josh Weddle
Te Puke Pukekos Round 2 pick
March 16, 2023Lethal Vipers Round 1 Pick

Lethal Vipers Round 6 Pick
Jack Crisp

Threat Level Midnight Round 4 Pick
March 13, 2023Threat Level Midnight Round 1 Pick

Threat Level Midnight Round 4 Pick
Ollie Wines

Te Puke Pukekos Round 6 Pick
March 11, 2023Solomon’s Soldiers Round 1 Pick

Solomon’s Soldiers Round 6 Pick
Elliot Yeo

Te Puke Pukekos Round 5 Pick

Te Puke Pukekos Round 15 pick

LIST AT END OF 2023 SEASON

PlayerGamesAveragePlayer Rank
Tim English
Ruck
23118.71
Darcy Parish
Midfielder
18106.914
Will Day
Defender / Midfielder
2195.343
Lachie Ash
Midfielder / Defender
2384.393
Lachie Weller
Defender
983.897
John Noble
Defender
2381111
Jacob Hopper
Midfielder
1680.8112
Isaac Heeney
Forward
2280118
Trent Rivers
Defender
2376.5142
Ed Langdon
Midfielder
2372.4184
Jack Lukosius
Forward
2272.1189
Justin McInerney
Midfielder
1870.8201
Bailey Williams
Defender / Midfielder
2369.9215
Braeden Campbell
Defender
2265.2255
Josh Weddle
Defender
1764.5261
Kysaiah Pickett
Forward
2163.1275
Sam Powell-Pepper
Forward
2361.4300
Ned Reeves
Ruck
2160.9305
Xavier O’Halloran
Midfielder / Forward
1260.9306
Darcy Fogarty
Forward
2160.4312
Nick Larkey
Forward
2360320
Lloyd Meek
Ruck / Forward
1659.4328
Luke Pedlar
Forward
2158.2344
Tom Powell
Midfielder / Forward
1457.4352
Dylan Stephens
Midfielder
1354.9384
Tim Membrey
Forward
754.4396
Riley Thilthorpe
Forward
2152.9409
Brandon Zerk-Thatcher
Defender
2252.2421
Mattaes Phillipou
Midfielder / Forward
2352.2422
Lance Franklin
Forward
1351.3434
Jarryd Lyons
Midfielder
750.6444
Anthony Caminiti
Forward
1750.4450
Brandon Starcevich
Defender
2349.3464
Alex Cincotta
Defender / Midfielder
1648.1475
Noah Long
Midfielder / Forward
1946.5494
Lachie Jones
Defender / Forward
1344.6511
Jye Menzie
Forward
2143.8521
Finn Maginness
Midfielder / Defender
1343526
Alwyn Davey
Midfielder / Forward
1035.8588
Cooper Stephens
Midfielder
00685

Player To Watch in 2024

Harley Reid

While technically not a member of the team yet, let’s be real, this is the guy who will justify the tanking effort at a level never before seen. He comes into the AFL as the highest rated draft prospect ever (in the words of actual AFL recruiters), and so being on the Eagles there won’t be much of a challenge for a spot in the starting 22, both at AFL level and on the Pukekos. Can he beat out Harry Sheezel for most impressive rookie in our league history? Either way, Nelson is locked in for the journey.

season

Grade: A… For lack of effort.f for performance.