AT A GLANCE
Wins
0
Losses
21
Wooden Spoon
Season Summary
How do you assess a team that tried to fail, and succeeded? Which did they do?
In the words of Coach Nelson himself, “Ever since Alex tagged me in a post on Facebook touting the skill of Reid, my strategy was sealed: get Reid, but still have a crack at the Dangergawn medal.”
Nelson then went on to succinctly summarise – “Coach hit 100% of KPI’s.” This was a team with a clear plan; out with the old, and in with the new. A very young draft, followed by the immediate trading of some old heads, gave this list a very youthful look (with Lance Franklin just sitting in a corner doing his thing), and as soon as the games started, you could tell it would be a long season for fans of the Pukekos. With 4 first round draft picks in his arsenal, you could excuse him from avoiding watching the AFL, and focussing more on the under 18’s carnival.
A maiden Dangergawn Medal for Tim English means that the team from NZ at least got some silverware from this disastrous campaign, while we now look to 2024 and what results he will get from actually trying (we think) to win games again.
top five Players
Tim English
23 games
118.7 average
Ranked 1st for season
Darcy Parish
18 games
106.9 average
Ranked 14th for season
Will Day
21 games
95.3 average
Ranked 43rd for season
Lachie Ash
23 games
84.3 average
Ranked 93rd for season
Lachie Weller
9 games
83.8 average
Ranked 97th for season
ALL-AUSTRALIANS
Tim English
2023 PRE-SEASON DRAFT
| Round | Pick | Player | Games Played | Average |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | Phillipou (StK) | 20 | 52.7 |
| 2 | 12 | Thilthorpe (AD) | 17 | 57.82 |
| 2 | 18 | Macginnes (HAW) | 8 | 45.75 |
| 3 | 22 | Reeves (HAW) | 0 | 0 |
| 4 | 32 | Menzie (ESS) | 2 | 49 |
| 6 | 52 | Farrell (PA) | 7 | 57.86 |
| 6 | 56 | Pickett (MEL) | 16 | 63.19 |
| 8 | 72 | D. Fogarty (ADL) | 18 | 64.22 |
| 9 | 82 | C. Stephens (HAW) | 0 | 0 |
| 10 | 92 | Zerk-Thatcher (ESS) | 5 | 57.2 |
| 11 | 102 | Lachie Jones (PA) | 4 | 44 |
| 12 | 112 | Coffield (STK) | 0 | 0 |
| 13 | 122 | Cincotta (CA) | 13 | 50.92 |
| 14 | 132 | Starcevich (BL) | 1 | 33 |
| 15 | 142 | N. Long (WC) | 4 | 43.5 |
| 16 | 152 | Franklin (SYD) | 1 | 8 |
| 17 | 162 | Rivers (MEL) | 18 | 74.61 |
| 18 | 172 | O’Halloran (GWS) | 12 | 60.92 |
| 19 | 182 | B. Williams (WB) | 2 | 60 |
| 20 | 192 | A. Davey (ESS) | 3 | 47.33 |
Most Inspired Selection
Bailey Williams
Pick 182
With so many young players coming in, it’s hard to single out any one that would constitute an inspired selection, but Williams in the 19th round was definitely a diamond in the later rounds of the draft. He was so good Nelson refused to field him at the risk of getting too many points, such were his scoring efforts.
While not an inspiration for the 2023 season due to this, my sources tell me he will be retained by the Pukekos, and so a selection that will pay greater dividends in 2024 and beyond.
Trades
A new contender for the official title of Sir Trades-A-Lot, this was a year of renovating the list to rival any single year in our league history. Premiership players Elliot Yeo and Ollie Wines left the club they have been at since 2016, and each returned a 1st round pick for their efforts. Crisp (a 2017 trade in) was also quickly shipped out for another first, as rival teams saw the opportunity to raid a list that was clearly trying to rebuild. With a couple more trades done to secure young players that were excess to current club needs, this list, through their trading effort, will quickly be the youngest in the competition.
| Date | Team | Received | Team | Received |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| July 21, 2023 |  | Tom Powell Taxmanian Devils Round 7 Pick |  | Jarrod Berry Defenestrators Round 4 Pick |
| July 21, 2023 | | Defenestrators Round 4 Pick |  | Brodie Smith Te Puke Pukekos Round 9 Pick |
| July 19, 2023 | | Luke Pedlar |  | Kane Farrell Te Puke Pukekos Round 4 Pick |
| July 17, 2023 | | Jack Lukosius Josh Weddle |  | Te Puke Pukekos Round 2 pick |
| March 16, 2023 | | Lethal Vipers Round 1 Pick Lethal Vipers Round 6 Pick |  | Jack Crisp Threat Level Midnight Round 4 Pick |
| March 13, 2023 | | Threat Level Midnight Round 1 Pick Threat Level Midnight Round 4 Pick |  | Ollie Wines Te Puke Pukekos Round 6 Pick |
| March 11, 2023 | | Solomon’s Soldiers Round 1 Pick Solomon’s Soldiers Round 6 Pick | | Elliot Yeo Te Puke Pukekos Round 5 Pick Te Puke Pukekos Round 15 pick |
LIST AT END OF 2023 SEASON
| Player | Games | Average | Player Rank |
|---|---|---|---|
| Tim English Ruck | 23 | 118.7 | 1 |
| Darcy Parish Midfielder | 18 | 106.9 | 14 |
| Will Day Defender / Midfielder | 21 | 95.3 | 43 |
| Lachie Ash Midfielder / Defender | 23 | 84.3 | 93 |
| Lachie Weller Defender | 9 | 83.8 | 97 |
| John Noble Defender | 23 | 81 | 111 |
| Jacob Hopper Midfielder | 16 | 80.8 | 112 |
| Isaac Heeney Forward | 22 | 80 | 118 |
| Trent Rivers Defender | 23 | 76.5 | 142 |
| Ed Langdon Midfielder | 23 | 72.4 | 184 |
| Jack Lukosius Forward | 22 | 72.1 | 189 |
| Justin McInerney Midfielder | 18 | 70.8 | 201 |
| Bailey Williams Defender / Midfielder | 23 | 69.9 | 215 |
| Braeden Campbell Defender | 22 | 65.2 | 255 |
| Josh Weddle Defender | 17 | 64.5 | 261 |
| Kysaiah Pickett Forward | 21 | 63.1 | 275 |
| Sam Powell-Pepper Forward | 23 | 61.4 | 300 |
| Ned Reeves Ruck | 21 | 60.9 | 305 |
| Xavier O’Halloran Midfielder / Forward | 12 | 60.9 | 306 |
| Darcy Fogarty Forward | 21 | 60.4 | 312 |
| Nick Larkey Forward | 23 | 60 | 320 |
| Lloyd Meek Ruck / Forward | 16 | 59.4 | 328 |
| Luke Pedlar Forward | 21 | 58.2 | 344 |
| Tom Powell Midfielder / Forward | 14 | 57.4 | 352 |
| Dylan Stephens Midfielder | 13 | 54.9 | 384 |
| Tim Membrey Forward | 7 | 54.4 | 396 |
| Riley Thilthorpe Forward | 21 | 52.9 | 409 |
| Brandon Zerk-Thatcher Defender | 22 | 52.2 | 421 |
| Mattaes Phillipou Midfielder / Forward | 23 | 52.2 | 422 |
| Lance Franklin Forward | 13 | 51.3 | 434 |
| Jarryd Lyons Midfielder | 7 | 50.6 | 444 |
| Anthony Caminiti Forward | 17 | 50.4 | 450 |
| Brandon Starcevich Defender | 23 | 49.3 | 464 |
| Alex Cincotta Defender / Midfielder | 16 | 48.1 | 475 |
| Noah Long Midfielder / Forward | 19 | 46.5 | 494 |
| Lachie Jones Defender / Forward | 13 | 44.6 | 511 |
| Jye Menzie Forward | 21 | 43.8 | 521 |
| Finn Maginness Midfielder / Defender | 13 | 43 | 526 |
| Alwyn Davey Midfielder / Forward | 10 | 35.8 | 588 |
| Cooper Stephens Midfielder | 0 | 0 | 685 |
Player To Watch in 2024
Harley Reid
While technically not a member of the team yet, let’s be real, this is the guy who will justify the tanking effort at a level never before seen. He comes into the AFL as the highest rated draft prospect ever (in the words of actual AFL recruiters), and so being on the Eagles there won’t be much of a challenge for a spot in the starting 22, both at AFL level and on the Pukekos. Can he beat out Harry Sheezel for most impressive rookie in our league history? Either way, Nelson is locked in for the journey.
