Defenestrators
Position: 1st
MVP: Tom Mitchell (129.3) Many people have criticised his handball heavy game and his useless possessions. Such people are not versing Tom Mitchell in Fantasy week after week. Tom is doing exactly what coach Paul is asking – getting meaningless possession after meaningless possession after meaningless possession. He’s doing terribly for Hawthorn, but is excelling for the team that drafted him with their first pick in their inaugural draft.
Most Improved: Josh Kelly (113.9) Josh was a decent player last year. He is a genuine premium midfielder this year. He is looking like a gun, both in terms of Fantasy and actual AFL. Another excellent young player for the pink brigade.
Best Draftee: Matt Kreuzer (107.9) The one weakness this team had was in the ruck. Not anymore!! Kreuzer has surpassed everyone’s expectations, except of course his prophetic coach who nabbed him in the early rounds.
Forecast: This team will win more championships than the Golden State Warriors in the next ten years. They are unbelievably talented and only just entering their prime.
Champs16
Position: 2nd
MVP: Steele Sidebottom (108.3) Testament to a champion team is a leading scorer not even breaking the 110 barrier. Although, I would not bet against Sidebottom raising his average even more. Steele has consistently scored well and leads from the front for Nelson.
Most Improved: Elliott Yeo (107.6) Elliott has improved out of sight. We all remember his yo-yo form in 2016. Now he is giving the highs without the lows. No so much fun for the rest of us, but Nelson (and West Coast fans) will be stoked by the sustained excellence of a man who was teased relentlessly last year. Champs16 can also look forward to these high scores coming in defence next year.
Best Draftee: Zach Tuohy (94.3) The list manager at the Champs16 deserves a shout-out. He aggressively traded out Luke Hodge for a first round pick last year and that pick has netted Tuohy. Tuohy has been Nelson’s best defender all season and he has shown Alistair Clarkson that if you’re going to trade out a premiership hero, get an early pick and select a super-star.
Forecast: It would take something amazing for Paul not to win it all – but this team has produced amazing before. Their team balance and willingness to sacrifice will at least make Paul (and others) sweat.
Stranger Danger
Position: 3rd
MVP: Sam Docherty (119.3) This man has been an absolute machine. Teammate Taylor Adams (115.6) was highly fancied to be the better defender, but Sam has gone nuclear. The highly fancied defence, led by Docherty, is doing even better than predicted.
Most Improved: Clayton Oliver (104.8) OK, what? Seriously, what is this? Are we just accepting this as normal now? Is Clayton a premium? I am having a hard time accepting this, but well done Mark on your internal development program. But deep down, I would love it if Oliver could go back to a half forward flank and let Jordan Lewis have some midfield time. This most improved award is the most improved of all the most improved-s.
Best Draftee: Trent Dumont (79.4) More highly fancied names like Swallow and Griffen have struggled. Dumont has shone with a much more consistent season.
Forecast: This team will finally break their finals duck. Will they get their maiden finals win? I’m not so sure. But then again, I thought Oliver was rubbish.
Rico’s Roughnecks
Position: 4th
MVP: Gary Ablett (120.9) The Little Master deserves this. Sure, Scott Selwood is averaging 121.0, but I don’t think it will last. Call me a prophet, but I just have a gut feeling. No one can detract from Gary though, who was not highly rated by the Bailout Plan. He has excelled since switching clubs and the size of the scores he is producing would be making Adam feel really good about his chances this season.
Most Improved: Stefan Martin (108.9) He’s baaa-aaaaaack.
Best Draftee: Christian Salem (85.9). It’s a bit hard to tell, given Adam has had more success with waivers and trades. Christian has lifted his game this season with some extra midfield time. Adam can select him in defence each week without getting a headache.
Forecast: I see this team in finals again, and winning their first. Nevertheless, I don’t think they’ll have the firepower to beat the Defenestrators or the willpower to beat Champs16
Such is ‘Fyfe’
Position: 5th
MVP: Mitch Duncan (117.0). That average speaks for itself. Duncan is the best midfielder at the cats by the stats that count – the dream team stats. He is in All Australian calculations and is the man to stop when you play Nathan – and that factors in Joel Selwood and Scott Pendlebury.
Most Improved: Mitch Duncan (117.0) To take that step from decent player to uber-premium is the toughest of all, and Mitch has made it. Kudos. Forget those mid-ninety averages, anything less than a ton is a shock this season.
Best Draftee: Shannon Hurn (78.3). There were a few decent performers who came under consideration, but we all know how hard it is to get decent defenders on the park (all except Mark that is). For this reason, I would say that Shannon Hurn has netted the best return for Such is ‘Fyfe’. As good as he has been, it does show that Nathan’s push for finals this year is mostly off the back of his crew from last year.
Forecast: Missing finals…just. If I don’t say this, I probably have to put myself out of the top six and I just can’t do that to myself.
MaherShalalHashBaz
Position: 6th
MVP: Zach Merrett (125.3) My best and fairest winner from last year has improved his average even more and is carrying a lowest score of 97, his only sub-100 score for the year. He has already been inducted into the MaherShalalHashBaz Hall of Fame. What a gun!
Most Improved: Dylan Roberton (103.0) I did not see this coming. Dylan was almost cut after he averaged 69.9 last year, but he held on to that twentieth keeper position. He has repaid my faith in spades with high scores off halfback. In a season of many lows for the club, he has been a constant high.
Best Draftee: Dom Sheed (83.1) My draft didn’t have a lot of success when compared to my competitors, although Andrew McGrath will be great (he was almost my best draftee this year). Dom gets the nod for his awesome last month with an average of 99.3, including the 98 that won me my game against Rico’s Roughnecks.
Forecast: Nothing but rainbows, sunshine and lollipops, of course. Sure, Paul’s analysis has me missing the six, but his forecast has no factor for sheer, dogged willingness.
General Soreness
Position: 7th
MVP: Tom Rockliff (125.4) It’s a tight call. Marc Murphy has been stellar and Rory Sloane leads the Dangergawn count. However, it all came down to that incredible average of 125.4. Tom has posted some huge scores and helped General Soreness back to respectability.
Most Improved: Marc Murphy (114.2) I confess that I forgot how good this man was. He has shown his true worth this year and inspired his team to some impressive wins.
Best Draftee: Ben McEvoy (94.5) and Bradley Hill (94.4) How can you split them? Both of them such stunning success stories. They both started slowly. Recently, however, they have racked up 100 after 100. General Soreness had the top two picks, but might stick to mid-draft excellence after these results.
Forecast: This team is too talented to stay in seventh. Unless they are badly hit by injury (I could not bring myself to say “general soreness”), they will make the finals and have a respectable loss against Rico’s Roughnecks.
Bailout Plan
Position: 8th
MVP: Brad Ebert (111.8) It wasn’t hard to find a winner here, with Priddis and Fyfe down on form. Brad has actually had a career best year and has been given less tagging duties and more get-the-sherrin duties, which combined with his love of tackles, has seen him post some monster scores. Luke will happily let Brad retire in the black and white colours; such is the man-love between the two.
Most Improved: Jeremy Cameron (91.6) Jeremy has kicked more goals and taken more marks this year, which has been helpful to lift his average out of the pitiful sixties and into the nineties – among the best forwards in the league.
Best Draftee: Steven May (82.9) Consistent defenders are like minutes at the breakfast table – you just have to appreciate the few you have. Steven has brought stability and fire down back for the Bailout Plan and he will be worth keeping, unless Luke goes on another rage trade.
Forecast: Eighth position with a shock win against Champs16 giving a highlight.
Redshins
Position: 9th
MVP: Dusty Martin (116.7) This man has been electric. He is in the running for the Dangergawn, which has given the fans something to cheer about. Chris selected him with the fourth pick in the inaugural draft and he is showing himself to be a better player than Dan Hannebery, Jack Steven and Stefan Martin, all of whom were taken right afterwards.
Most Improved: Dusty Martin (116.7) Sure, he was an All-Australian forward who averaged 100. However, he has lifted again.
Best Draftee: Nick Haynes (78.7) I remember Chris asking who the best player to pick at this position was and I said Haynes. A dependable defender, it certainly is not Nick’s fault that the season has gone to custard.
Forecast: They have a terrible year, crashing out of the top six into obscurity, but they still won’t get the wooden spoon.
Solomon’s Soldiers
Position: 10th
MVP: Lachie Neale (100.7) This was not a hard choice. Lachie is the only man averaging 100 at the club. At least there is one.
Most Improved: Jarrod Lyons (97.4) Jarrod has lifted his game from handy eighties to handier nineties. This is obviously a good thing. Alex should be grateful there isn’t an “oh-boy-they-got-worse” category, because there are half a dozen sticking their hands right up for that award.
Best Draftee: This category requires merely that you were drafted this year. Alex has made so many list changes, both in trading out players and delisting others. It was hard to find someone who was actually drafted to Solomon’s Soldiers this year. I did find someone – Anthony McDonald-Tipingwuti (69.9) and for that reason alone – he gets this award.
Forecast: Alex will keep winning spoons until Paul’s premiership dynasty ends.