Rico’s Roughnecks (1740) vs The Bailout Plan (1645)
Rico’s Roughnecks controlled their own destiny. A win and they were guaranteed top two, and a wonderful week off.
They may not have played hard this week, but they did enough to get the win. Kane Lambert (120) and Adam Tomlinson (110) played their hardest, but everyone else was certainly in a lower gear. Stef Martin (67) and Gary Ablett (76) were in second gear. Only four players reached a hundred for the Roughnecks, who recorded their lowest score since Port played in China. But, hey. They earned a week off.
However, I would be slightly worried if I were Adam. Not only are both of his potential opponent in fine form, but also in form duo Brett Deledio and Dawson Simpson are now injured. It could prove critical.
The Bailout Plan have finished the year and it could not have come quickly enough. Very little has gone right for the team in black. At least this game showed that the saints on the list are worth persisting with:
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Jake Carlisle (88)
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Seb Ross (160)
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Jade Gresham (98)
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Jack Lonie (99)
However, like most weeks prior, too many things went wrong. Will Hoskin-Elliott (35) had his third score under forty within six weeks. Scott Thompson (22) spent the whole game running away from the ball. Shaun Higgins, who has been good, was a late withdrawal. Thankfully, the players can rest and focus on being good next year, while team management can officially begin their off-season recruiting, starting by scouting potential number one picks.
Puttanesca Chiefs (2219) vs the Shire Scourers (1721)
I am going to discuss the Puttanesca Chiefs here in the same way that Chris Scott discussed Richmond.
So yeah, those Chiefs are pretty good. Sure, they are the best team now. But a lot would have to go right for them to win the flag. I mean, they were almost rolled in this game. I have been watching their games. The Shire Scourers were in control for much of this game. If you talk about the juggernauts of our competition, that involves Nelson, who has been to twice as many grand finals as Mark.
Saltiness aside, Mark had an incredible eleven hundreds and three nineties en route to 2018’s highest score. His midfield had seven tons, highlighted by Clayton Oliver (154) with the lowlight being Hugh Greenwood (90). That’s an impressive midfield! Things are going better for Coach Buscumb than Sashi from MasterChef.
The Scourers. We all know what they are doing. They are saving their best for finals. Just wait. You know how this will play out. Do you think Ollie Wines will get 65 next week? Do you think Isaac Heeney will get 66 next week? Do you think Jordan Cunico will even play next week? Nelson is going with the tried and true give-them-a-false-sense-of-security routine, but I’m not worried…………I have a real sense of dread.
Redshins (1849) vs Defenestrators (1981)
The Redshins also controlled their own destiny. They faced a win-and-you’re-in scenario. They put their best foot forward. Six centuries, led by actually-a-good-player-not just-a-tough-player Jack Ziebell (120) and the skilful and truthful Josh Jenkins (124). This performance was their best in the last four weeks.
Alas, the might of the Defenestrators was too great. Tom Mitchell (146) was down on his three-week average, but 146 is good for an off day. Indeed, only Josh Kelly (153) was able to attain a higher score and relegate Mitchell to two Dangergawn votes for the first time since some event that happened a long time ago. Eight centuries filled a fantastic score sheet for Paul, even if his defenders could only average 68 between them. With room for improvement down back and Tom Mitchell forgetting what low hundreds (let alone low scores) look like, things are looking rosy for the men in pink.
Oh, and I couldn’t help but notice Andrew Gaff’s Ultimate Footy numbers – 185 people saying “sell” and 3 people saying “buy”. I guess it is a keeper league, so Paul, that is a positive. (Which is good, because you are not even allowed to rage trade him)
The Love Sparkles (1959) vs Such is ‘Fyfe’ (1656)
Cometh the moment, cometh the man. The Love Sparkles were in fine form over the weekend and made short shrift of Such is ‘Fyfe’ (say that with five jellybeans in your mouth). With PaulZ taking care of business as well, Coach Burgess Snr can plot for his second finals appearance against a team he has beaten this year. Nine men scored centuries, and another, Jarrod Berry (104) impressed on the pine.
Jamie Cripps is doing a very fine job of defining an outlier. I will have you examine his last six weeks and see if you can spot what I mean:
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Week 14 |
90 |
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Week 15 |
104 |
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Week 16 |
98 |
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Week 17 |
30 |
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Week 18 |
101 |
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Week 19 |
106 |
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Week 20 |
102 |
Which leads me to say, that derby would have to be one of the greatest games for Dad for the year. Between Cripps (102), Scott Lycett (103), Jack Redden (133) and Luke Shuey (90), there was plenty of statistical joy. Even though Andrew Gaff channelled his inner Barry Hall, at least he plays for Dad’s finals opponent next week. Moreover, of course, the eagles won, which is awesome. Now, Dad is full of confidence, with four of his last six scores above 1900 (thanks for scoring that 1783 against me). He has scored more points across the season than all but two teams. The Love Sparkles are looking to go back to the ways of their former selves, ala 2008-2013 and dominating finals.
MaherShalalHashBaz (1832) vs Solomon’s Soldiers (1693)
This was as inconsequential as they come. I could not go any higher or drop any lower. Nor could Alex. My two previous best-and-fairest winners Dayne Zorko (154) and Zach Merrett (134) brought about my score. Both men have officially put their sluggish start behind them and are both now, and only now, averaging over 100. And whilst that means they will not be All-Australian for the first time, at least I know they are back to their best at the best time of year (which you can read as my birthday or finals).
In other news, my new recruit Brodie Smith (54) had a pretty uneventful debut. It is a shame sheer goodwill stories do not generate fantasy points (although if they did, well done Luke on snaring Alex Johnson – actually well done anyway, he looks good). Sam “Spud” Wright (70) did better than Smith did and I gave him away to make room. Still, I’ve made that many trades with Alex, that looking at his team is like looking at old photos of myself, where I say “Oh I like that” and “Oh, what was I thinking there”.
I genuinely thought that both Brayshaws would ton up for the first time. Angus Brayshaw (143) certainly finished with a bang, and Andrew Brayshaw (55) was on track at half time, but then…reasons.
Some last intriguing tid-bits from my last home and away game
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Matthew Lobbe has ironically displaced Paddy Ryder in my ruck utility spot
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When I saw the 38 next to Jarrad Waite, I thought Ultimate Footy was posting his age
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I had three Port defenders (Houston, Pittard and Lienert) and Alex had one (Byrne-Jones). We both wanted to see the ball in Port’s back-line and that doesn’t even factor in Alex’s allegiances to the crows
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Josh Dunkley has a three round average of 111.0 and whilst that is amazing, I can’t help but hope he goes back forward so he doesn’t become a pure mid next year
In wrapping up, I must point out that I have learned to celebrate the little wins when they come your way. And I am not referring to beating Alex (that’s a little win indeed). I mean the following statistic, which I am going to enjoy, because I may not be alive in the season much longer, nor may this be true much longer.
Nevertheless, as things stand, right at this exact moment, after the epic games from Zorko and Merrett, I currently have a league-leading seven players on my roster who average 100.
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Dayne Beams 103.3
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Zach Merrett 100.4
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Dayne Zorko 100.8
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Justin Westhoff 100.1
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Bryce Gibbs 103.8
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Dyson Heppell 101.1
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Max Gawn 112.6
I just had to point that out. Four of those people are barely over the mark, and the Defenestrators and Puttanesca Chiefs both have six players averaging 100 with a host of 90s. But hey, I’m going to take this moment of sunshine and enjoy it.
Best of luck in the finals everyone. And for those of you not in finals, best of luck in enjoying a normal life with fewer distractions again.